Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
