bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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