he shaved USA in his pubs
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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