The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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