there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
