At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
