What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
