where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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