I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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