she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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