after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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