Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
