there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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