I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
