I CAN MOONWALK!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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