Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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