TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
