I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
