If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just want to make out with him forever
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
