we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
