Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
