my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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