she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
