The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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