she was so not down for the gang bang
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
