Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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