You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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