You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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