ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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