i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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