Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
