Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
