i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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