Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
