I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
