"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
