nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
