Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
