with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
