can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
