I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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