If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
