Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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