This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
