Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
