How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
