You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
