she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
