Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
