so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's never too late to be topless.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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